


Felix the Mouse

by KitsJay



Category: Hogan's Heroes
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 22:37:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17796059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitsJay/pseuds/KitsJay
Summary: Felix tells his version of a mission one night.





	Felix the Mouse

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at FF.net a very long time ago.

Ever heard of a rodent named Felix? Me neither. Until I met Carter.

Maybe I should back up - Mom always said I got ahead of myself when trying to talk.

First thing you should know is that I'm a mouse. Named Felix. Stupid name, yeah, but who can blame the kid? He's a swell guy, and feeds me some cheese and even vintage wine sometimes. Not that I can't get it by myself, mind you, but it's nice the kid's thinking of me. Here I go getting ahead of myself again.

Well, another thing you should know is that I live in a prison camp, Stalag 13 to be exact. I found Carter-or, as he likes to say, he found me- two weeks after he arrived. Five others were here that I payed any attention to-Colonel Hogan, the commander of this outfit, Newkirk, the Briton, LeBeau, a passionate Frenchman and excellent cook, Olsen, all- around good guy, and Kinch, the radioman of the group. Carter arrived shortly after this Lt. came in to escape-499th escapee. I really attached myself to the kid because the Lt. could've been his twin brother they looked so much alike. Heck, maybe they were, I never asked. Anyways, he sort of adopted me, and helps me out around the other guys.

I never have endeared myself to Newkirk, but he puts up with me 'cause he likes Carter, though sometimes I wonder. LeBeau doesn't care so long as I don't get into his food supply-I only have once, and now he watches it like a hawk. Kinch seems almost amused with me, and Olsen just gives Carter strange looks when he begins to rattle off about that little old mouse of his. Colonel Hogan, now he's ok with it all. He doesn't care so much, but I've noticed him get a little worried when Carter starts talking to me, and he was a mite upset when I chewed the hole in his shirt. I still maintain that it was an accident, but I think Carter figured out that it had something to do with the fact that the Colonel nearly swept me into the wastebasket once.

You might be wondering, "How do you get around, yet still talk to Carter?" Simple. Did you ever get a chance to see Carter's gonculator? Alright, so it caught a rabbit, but who the heck thought it actually would? That's what I thought. Turns out the cage he made for me is about of the same quality workmanship. I can come and go as I please, but Carter always can recognize me. He says I have a cute little smile. Hey, all the girls did say I'm good looking. Smooth, sleek fur, a smokey gray, and my cute little smile with my cute little mouse teeth. Yup, life is good.

Obviously you wouldn't be reading this just because you wanted to know what I was like, so I guess I should start where our story begins. Makes sense, when you think about it. This is the story about a rather peculiar mission that happened during Carter's 8th week here. By now, they had let him in on the set-up, I had discovered the kid, and Newkirk had tried to trap me-unsuccessfully, obviously-4 times already. But hey, that's how life is when you're a mouse. No use crying over live cats, I always say. But I digress.

Carter came to my cage one day excitedly and looked me in the eye and said, "Felix, guess what?"

What, kid? I wasn't really interested, since it didn't take much for my sergeant to get excited-something amazing to him could be anywhere from discovering how they peeled potatoes to finding out some guy had gone to the moon. Yeah, right! Go to the moon… ha!

"I'm going to the moon!" I stopped laughing. What did he just say? Nah, he couldn't've…. "I'm going on a mission!" Geez, kid, don't do that to me! But that's great! What mission?

"I get to go and blow up a whole train track!" Oh no. Heaven have mercy on mice and fools. We're both gonna need it. That's another thing you should know about my boy Carter… he likes to blow things up. He once related his days in a lab to me-shortly before it was demolished, that is.

"Colonel Hogan says I looked bored lately, so I get to go with them when they make it go BOOM!" A few men nearby started and glared at my boy, who, being who he is, cheerfully remained oblivious to the dirty looks. But, hey, that's pretty neat, kiddo. When's the big day?

"But it's not until tonight…" I know I can't talk, but I swear this kid can read my mind sometimes. I zoned in again to hear him rambling on about what kind of detonators he was going to use, and where he was going to place them, and other stuff. I don't know. I supposed I could learn something from him once in a while, but he goes on for quite a while. Yo, bud, can I come with you?

I must've looked pretty pitiful, 'cause he leaned forward and whispered, "I'll hide you in my pocket, and you can come along with me!" He sounded pretty excited, and truth be told, so was I. It wasn't everyday I got to go on a mission, you know.

Well, anyways, the night came. The sky was clear, the air fresh, and I'm making all this up, because I still sat in my little cage, all ready for a mission. I guess I can tell you that I was worried Andrew forgot about me, but he came through for me, and arrived at my small home and, while no one was looking, he cupped me in his hands and deposited me in one of his pockets. Oh, boy, a ride in a Nazi's uniform! Just kidding, kiddo-I don't mean it. Anyways, Hogan checked to make sure everyone was ready and clear, and I found myself being jolted up and down as Carter climbed the ladder. Not my idea of a joy ride, but it's natural, I suppose, when you're so scared you're shedding mouse fur all over. The kid already had a tidy collection of gray hair in the corner. Anyways, the jolting stopped, and I gathered my courage, stood up on my little mouse toes, and looked out of the pocket, letting only my head show. Outside. I hadn't been on the other side of the fence in a long time. Hey, kid, did Hogan just say-

An excited whisper came from Andrew. "I get to go on my own!" Gee, that's good! Not very smart… but good for you. So there we were, mouse and man, creeping through the woods, though Carter made enough noise to scare off an elephant. We finally reached the outside of the woods, and there, glistening in the moonlight with a pale metallic sheen lay the train tracks. I swear, they were beautiful, even if they were about to be spread about in lovely splinters all around. The other guys were around, though I could only make out Olsen and Newkirk. The Colonel has an odd way of disappearing when he wants to, and even my sharp ears couldn't detect a sound from where I knew he should be. Crouching, Carter got to work, but before he could get far…

"Achtung!" a razor-edged voice called. My ride turned slowly with his hands up. There a malevolent man stood, his rifle held at a potentially fatal position.

As a mouse, and the owner of a certain blond-headed, grinning boy, I get pretty protective. It's a rodent thing. Pet rabbits do it too, I hear. Anyways, here I was, facing this man who was threatening Carter, and my blood just heated up. Chittering to myself, I crawled down out of Carter's pocket down his pant legs. The kid was so scared I doubt he noticed. Neither did the guard, when I crawled up his pant legs.

"Was ist los?!" the German cried, suddenly shaking his leg wildly. Holding on for dear life, I skittered up and down his leg, until he was jumping around in an odd little dance. By then, Hogan and the others had heard the commotion and jumped out of the bushes where they were keeping watch to help Carter out. The Kraut paid no attention to them, continuing his wild jig. Chuckling to myself, I let go and skittered back down again. Crossing the clearing, I crawled up Carter's pant leg-the outside-and though he squirmed a bit, he was relatively quiet-for once.

Well, that was about it. Carter planted the mines, and we high-tailed it outta there. Most people don't believe me about saving the mission and all, but now you know the truth. From the mouse's mouth.

-Felix the Mouse


End file.
